[identity profile] cystal-lady.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] nordicromance
Title: The Storm
Author/Artist: Crystal_lady
Assigned prompt: DenIce- Snow [Optional: Crush]
Other characters and pairings: Past Nordic relationships (not in detail), mention of other Nordics, Mr. Puffin
Extra notes: Talk about sex, mention of friends with benefits, some not kid friendly language, a sequel to Eye of the Storm from the First Nordic Fest, helpful to have read that but not needed
Summary: The eye of the storm passes and Denmark must figure out what to do next 

(If you wish to read the first one here is a link to the FF version http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7964790/1/Eye_of_the_Storm)  and here is the Nordipalooza version http://nordipalooza.livejournal.com/5922.html

Denmark woke up with a content sigh as he watched soft flurries drift outside the window. He had a great day and even better night with Iceland yesterday. It was just so easy and fun. They had gone skiing during the day, which was much better when they weren’t doing it with the other Nordics. Sweden and Norway would get competitive with each other and everyone would pick on the fact he is so flat compared to them. With just Iceland, he could enjoy the act and the company. Plus, he didn’t have to watch what he was doing around Iceland incase Norway noticed his feelings towards the younger man wasn’t platonic. That night they had sex, which was, of course, the best thing about the day.

Sex with Iceland was incredible. Once he got past the shyness of being naked with those scars, he was so open about it and willing to try new things. It was the opposite of Norway who was so frosty, but perhaps that was unfair to him. They were living in a much different time back then and both had been trained to think that bottoming was a woman thing to do and being the bottom was an insult. Still, he just felt like Iceland enjoyed their times together more. Seeing Iceland’s cold exterior melt with a soft smile in the afterglow made something inside of him warm. He really had the best of all worlds, with Iceland being his fuck buddy. He got to have the sex and fun without dealing with the nastier emotions. Well, there were sometimes when he was concerned about the whole thing, especially with his feelings towards the younger, but he could push his concerns away in favor of continuing this fun weekend with Iceland.

He felt over to the other side of the bed and found it cool and empty. That was disappointing, but perhaps Iceland had made coffee. After a cup, they could go back to bed. He hopped out of bed, pulled on underpants, and headed downstairs. He found Iceland sitting in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee with a pot of it steaming nearby. Denmark poured himself some, his toes curling on the cold floor. “You’re up early, sunshine. I’m surprised.”

Iceland shrugged, “I was just thinking.”

Denmark frowned at that. Iceland never let that nickname go by without comment. Besides, now that he thought about it. It really was unusual for Iceland to be up first and functioning. 

“About?” He asked as he sat down in the chair next to Iceland.

Iceland looked at him quietly, his face as cold as snow. Something inside of Denmark clenched and he could tell he was not going to like what was coming. “I think we should stop…stop being friends with benefits.”

Denmark stared at Iceland with shock. This was even worse than he was expecting and it seemed to come out of nowhere, “What? Why!?! I thought we were having fun together.”

Iceland looked away, “We were…I just think it is time to end it.”

Denmark jumped out of his chair and started to pace. Why would Iceland want to end it now? They were having such a good time and yesterday had been amazing. He knew Iceland had enjoyed himself, the young man even said so himself! It felt like he had been punched in the gut. “I don’t understand why.” Denmark said, hurt obvious in his voice. “I really like you Iceland.”

Iceland continued to look at the floor, “And I like you Den-“

“Then why are you ending this?” Denmark snapped at him.

“Because I have a crush on you and it is so fucking stupid to have a crush on a fuck buddy!” Iceland snapped right back, breaking out of the fake cold he had put around himself.

Denmark froze at the words. He was not sure how to feel about this. There was the hurt at Iceland breaking up with him out of the blue, the dread at what Iceland’s words implied, and even a bit of warmth at the idea Iceland liked him too much. “What do you mean?”

Iceland looked up at him and it felt like Denmark got punched in the gut a second time. The younger man was in pain and he knew it was his fault. “I want to date you Denmark. I want to be open about the fact I’m with you and not have to hide it from everyone! I don’t want to be your dirty little secret that none of your friends can know about. I want you to be my boyfriend and I know for a fact you don’t want that.”

Denmark groaned and leaned against the counter. This was way worse than he thought.  “Come on, Iceland,” Denmark said, trying to reason with him, “I’ve been in way more relationships than you and, trust me, they suck. This is much better.”

“No, it isn’t!” Iceland said, his chin quivering slightly. “It absolutely fucking sucks! Sometimes you are so warm and I think you want to get closer with me. You lead me on and then, all of a sudden, you pull away again.”

Denmark looked away from the quivering. “…I never meant to lead you on. I thought you understood this was only-”

“Only about sex, that’s all you wanted from me, my body, because I look like Norway.”

“That’s not true, Iceland, and you know it.” Denmark said, wondering how he missed all this stuff going on inside Iceland’s mind. “I like you and you are nothing like Norway.”

“I look similar to him.”

“Bullshit, Iceland, I am not attracted you because of him.” Denmark rubbed his face, “Look, I’m not that shallow, it isn’t just about your body. I enjoy spending time with you. Why can’t we just have fun and sex?”

“Because I want more than that!” Iceland snarled at him.

“Well I don’t, relationships suck.” Denmark said immaturely.

“That’s good to know Denmark…I think you should get dressed and go.”

Denmark felt numb. This should have been such a good day and now it had gone to hell in one of the worst possible ways. “Really, that’s it? You are just going to end all our good times like that?”

Iceland nodded. Denmark looked at him for a long moment and shrugged. He walked out of the room feeling cold. This had all gone wrong and he didn’t know how or if he could fix it. He put on his clothes slowly and looked at the bed. He didn’t want to go, but he wasn’t going to make that big of an ass of himself either. If Iceland told him to go, he would. He paused as he walked past the kitchen. Iceland was crying and Mr. Puffin was preening his soft hair, muttering something in Icelandic that Denmark couldn’t understand. Mr. Puffin glanced at him and glared at him with such hate, it almost scared him. Denmark turned around and walked from the room.

Denmark woke up with a gasp a week later. He groaned and looked at the time. It was far too early for him to be awake, but he had not been able to sleep well since the fight. He just kept thinking about Iceland and how hurt the young man had looked the last time he saw him. Then, when he went to sleep, he would dream about that or the Nordics finding out what happen and giving him the disappointed looks that he had been trying to avoid. It felt like a blast of artic wind every time he woke up from those dreams. It was not even the worse though. The thing that really pierced his heart was Iceland’s words. He had no idea that Iceland was thinking that about their relationship. Sure, he didn’t want to be in a formal relationship, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about Iceland. He cared a lot about the young man. Iceland wasn’t his dirty little secret. The only reason he didn’t want the other Nordics to know was the fact he knew they wouldn’t think that he was good enough for Iceland.

He wanted to tell Iceland that he was wrong about a lot of that stuff. He looked at the clock and sighed again. Iceland wouldn’t pick up at three in the morning and he definitely wouldn’t pick up for him now. Denmark thought for a moment and then got out of bed. An email may be faster, but Iceland was more likely to ignore it than an actual letter. He wanted a chance to be heard.

It was hard at the beginning, but as he forced himself to continue to write and soon he found himself admitting things he didn’t fully realize he was thinking.

“Dear Iceland,

I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to hear from me right now, but I just had to get that off my chest. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way and I never meant for you too. You were never my ‘dirty secret’. Really, the only reason I didn’t want to tell others was because I knew the other Nordics would be angry at me for getting together with you. They wouldn’t think I was good enough for you, because of my past relationships with them and I didn’t want to deal with their disapproval when I could just enjoy my time with you. This is probably what made me accidently led you on. Sometimes, I would forget all about them and their opinions and just enjoy us and other times, I would be standoffish because I would think of their opinions and how close we were getting, closer than we should.

Of course, this is making me sound like I am really focus on their opinions and that is not the case at all. It is just a factor that led to me accidently hurting you, something I had been trying to avoid by not dating you. I’ve been in a number of relationships over the years and none of them ended well, as you well know. In the end, I found just having casual fuck buddies was the best thing, someone to sleep with while being that person’s friend and enjoying their companionship. There were no harsh feelings or breaking up, just one day, it ends and you can go back to being friends. It really is nice and, with you, it had been one of the greatest times I had in a while. I enjoyed spending more time with you, getting to know you better, without having other Nordics around to distract me.

You are really a great person, you know. I know you think I got together with you because of your similarities to Norway, but that was not the case. The first time we had sex, he was not a factor at all. I can’t say it is for some great passionate reason, but you were attractive, willing, and we were both too drunk to realize what a stupid idea it was. After that, it was because you were sexy, good in bed, kind, laughed at my jokes, capable of having fun and it didn’t seem like you were annoyed by me all of the time. It was really nice and I’ll miss all times we spent together. I’ll miss swimming, skiing, going out to clubs, watching movies, fucking, and just having fun with you. Yeah, I’ll miss that and I wish it didn’t have to end.

I’m not really good at this whole letter thing, but I just wanted to let you know all of that. You deserved to know what was going on and why I acted the way I did. I never wanted to hurt you. Really, that was the last thing I ever wanted to happen because of us being together. I know it’ll be awhile before you wish to spend time with me, but I hope after that, we can be friends again, doing all the platonic stuff we did while we were friends with benefits. I hope you read this and maybe let me know you got this letter.

Love, Denmark”

Denmark looked at the second to last word in the letter. He shivered at the sight of it. It was true, he did love Iceland. He just didn’t want to admit it to himself until it was too late to admit it at all. He was tempted too, add the words ‘I love you’, but he knew that would be too cruel. He wasn’t going to force his love on someone who didn’t want it. He tried to do it in the past, but it always failed and ended up with everyone hurt. He looked out the window and saw it was morning. He put the letter in an envelope, unedited, got dressed, and mailed it.

Three long days later, there was a knock on his door. He opened it to find Iceland standing there, brushing the snow off his coat. He pulled Iceland into a crushing hug without thinking about it, ignoring the way the snow burned his toes. He was just happy to see the young man standing there; it made him think he had a real chance at repairing everything. It took a moment, but Iceland returned the hug. “Can we talk, Denmark?” Iceland asked quietly.

“Of course,” Denmark said, pulling away and allowing the young man into his house. He smiled nervously at Iceland and Iceland timidly smiled back. The warmth that spread through him felt like spring. He knew he was lucky, getting a second chance fix things. This time, he was going to get their relationship right.

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August 2012

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